Odd Things

So sometimes in my life, I sit around and notice how odd everything is. Nothing seems to quite fit and yet, it does.

What I'm talking about is my roommate. She has this way about her that just doesn't seem to make sense to me but to her it does. And honestly, I just have a "Whatever gets the job done" attitude towards it. I think you need a few examples.

Last night I was sleeping peacefully on the couch after a long, hard day of watching shitty television and half-assedly cleaning the apartment. At some point, my roommate sweetly covered me in a blanket and then proceeded to film me snoring. Why, you ask? Because I sounded like a boat....and it's funny and cute when I snore....It makes her imagine what my life will be like when I'm an old man....

Sometimes she'll say things and it sounds like she's talking to me and she's looking at me so I think she's talking to me. But as it turns out, she's talking to herself.

She has a srangly close relationship with animals, particularly dogs. Like...she gets so emotional over animals that I occasionally have to mute the ASPCA commercials and brace myself whenever we drive by people selling puppies out of the back of their van.

White walls make her feel like she's living in this apartment only temporarily. Like she'll have to move back in with her parents when the semester's over.

Mexican food cannot be eaten without sour cream. No exceptions.

She shakes her foot constantly. Like non-stop movement, always shaking the foot. And it shakes the couch and my desk that sits behind the couch. It shakes my soda with it's ice and straw. It shakes the floor and my chair and the lamp on the other side of my desk. It shakes the world. But she does it because without it, she can't focus. Whatever gets the job done, right?


These are just a few examples and I'd love to come up with more but I'm afraid that if I do more than 5, she'll murder me in my sleep....that's another odd thing. She threatens me....but in a kidding manner? No one can be sure.