December 27, 2011

New horizons

Okay here's the thing....I'm starting this new thing because of my mom.

She bought me this book: 365: Make Something Every Day and Change Your Life! A Daily Creativity Journal by Noah Scalin. I know, longest title ever. Here's a picture of the cover...

So I've decided that this isn't a bad idea. I SHOULD do something everyday for a year. It'll be healthy for me. It'll give me direction and a creative outlet. It'll give me something to do with my days besides sit around and get fat. I've also decided to include getting slimmer into my 365 days. I've decided that before I sit down at my desk, I'm going to do two things: 1) take the dogs on a walk to clear my head, get me out of the house and seeing new things to inspire me. 2) Take a picture of my desk. I'll put the picture at the beginning of each blog post so that you can see my ever changing desk and work space. You can see what I'm dealing with and if you have questions about anything on my desk, please feel free to ask.

So I started reading the book (there's a small introduction at the start) and it says that I need an audience. That's where you come in! I need you to be an audience. And a participating one. If you like what I'm doing, tell your friends. If you have an idea, let me know any way you can. If you see something that you think is cool, tell me! I'll need support and encouragement to do this. I've been sitting around for too long. It's time to take some action and get some creativity out.

I should probably write about what I'll be doing every day for a year. Well, I'll be writing. And taking pictures. I might do a video or two but writing mostly. I'm a writer, it only makes sense. So I'll be writing every day for a year. Sometimes I'll be using the prompts from the book and sometimes I'll just sit down and vent. For a while now, I've been toying with the idea of working on a memoir because I like the idea of having a medium in which to look back at my life and remember everything I've done/worn/eaten/seen/heard/all the good stuff. And what better way to do that, than to write every day for a long period of time and then pick out all the good stuff and publish it in a novel. So I'll be writing. Words are my theme and I'm sticking to them. I also have this idea to make things OUT of words. See also WordWorld on PBS (http://pbskids.org/wordworld/index_flash.html) So that might end up on here. Anyway, I just wanted to write this post to 1) warn anyone who is subscribed to my blog on their RSS feed and 2) get the word out so that I can get the support I need. :)

So yeah....here goes...365 blog posts are coming. I say "coming" because I haven't decided on when I'll start. I want to pick a good, solid date to start on......and I want a few more days of laying around before I get down to business. haha

December 26, 2011

Souls

What are souls? What are they made of and where are they? Why can we feel them but not describe them?

Sometimes I imagine we're made of a billion points of light swirling around creating something beautiful. Every once and a while our points of light fly out and mix around with someone else's light and then it makes two souls again. And that's how soulmates are made. I beloved I have a soulmate. And sometimes I wonder if it's a man, or my best friend S.

What if my soul mate's light is too far away though? I think it has the power to trandscend. I need it to.

Hello Everyone

So I recently realized that many people that know me in real life read my blog. So, HELLO REAL LIFERS!

Anyway, in other news, I got a mannequin for Christmas. His name is Hank. He's awesome. Everyone thought I was going to start making clothes, and maybe I will, I dunno. But I really wanted him so that I could put outfits on him so I can see what they look like before I wear them.

Does this sound crazy to everyone? Am I the only one who thinks this is a good idea? Because I do. I think it's great. When I explain this to people, they don't understand. They give me looks like I'm a psycho. Why doesn't this make sense to them?

I also got a bunch of stuff that I'm really grateful for. But I'm just really glad for a second chance. I feel like being 24 has given me this feeling of complete and udder renewal. I need my life to pick up from here. I just feel like it's been pretty bad lately and I have some good karma coming my way. You know? Like does anyone else just feel like they take stuff over and over and over so SOMETHING good has to come your way? Yeah. Well, I feel like 24 is that good stuff coming my way.

December 14, 2011

December 14, 2011

It's my birthday today...I'm 24 years old. I'm 24 years old and I can feel my bones creaking.

I don't know what it is about 24 but all of the sudden, I'm dreading getting older. I suppose it's because it's a reminder of what I don't have: a degree, a man, a real job...you know, the things that everyone wants and apparently has now.

Sometimes I sit around and dream of a rich doctor or lawyer or artist or something will come into my life and sweep me off my feet, give me everything I ever dreamed of and we'll live happily ever after. But it's just a dream.

Sometimes while I'm unloading the dishwasher, I think about the stories...the countless stories that buzz around in my head but never seem to make it onto the page. Mostly, they're incomplete and that's why they never make it. But to be complete, they have to make it to the page. It's a terrible catch-22 that I've imposed on myself.

Sometimes I think about college. I consider going back and finishing my English degree...or maybe starting over and going to culinary school or beauty school or maybe I'll just stay where I'm at and live vicariously through characters on the television, people I invent on my pages and my family and friends.

I'm 24 years old today and I can feel my bones creaking.

December 1, 2011

So this Heather I know...

Every once in a while, you come across someone in life who understands you in a way that no one else does. And I kind of feel that way about all of my friends. But the one we're discussing tonight, he's gets me a little differently than everyone else. Now, I know that at least 3 out of 5 of my friends read my blog so you others, don't get upset. I've blogged about all of you too. It's his turn now.

By now you know that none of my friend's names are revealed on my blog and this one will be no different.

I met T only a few months ago. Once I had reconnected with my now-over high school crush J, (see http://tinyurl.com/7dkt77t for more information) he invited us to meet his boyfriend in Galveston. S and I couldn't have been more excited to get out of the apartment so we jumped at the chance to lay in the sun with a pair of gay boys. But here's the thing. I had dyed my hair platinum blonde like two months before that so my roots had grown out, my eyebrows looked like caterpillars on my face and the wash had rinsed out leaving my platinum blonde looking more like lemon yellow...it was bad. But I was poor. And I told J that I was embarrassed about the state of my hair and he said, "Oh, don't worry about it. He won't say anything." That's a direct quote. DIRECT QUOTE FROM THE BOYFRIEND!

So there we are, a little drunk, covered in sand and trying not to burn. Being incredibly embarrassed by my hair I figured it was best to just bring it up and apologize for the state of it before anyone had a chance to get in any snide comments...*cough*J*coughcough.* Here's how the conversation went down:

T: I like your hair.
K: Thanks...it's not my natural color.
T: (*completely sarcastic*) Really? I never would have guessed.
K: *mortified*

In hindsight, the situation was pretty hilarious and I really did set myself up for that so while I'm STILL embarrassed about it, I've learned to laugh at it. Anyway, the reason why I told that story was because it was at THAT moment that I realized that T was no bitch to be trifled with. He was fierce and fabulous and completely unexpected.

As T and I got to know each other, we realized that we really needed to take our relationship to the next level. So one night, when getting to know each other, we discovered that not only did T love RuPaul's Drag Race just like me, but he also had aspirations of being a stiletto stomping drag queen! For those who don't watch RPDR or have never seen the 1988 film Heathers, four drag queens called themselves the Heathers because they were the prettiest girls in the competition (RPDR.) Heathers, the movie, was Mean Girls before Mean Girls; they were the prettiest girls in school. And one night, while J and I were drunk and he called me Heather. Then he looked at me, gasped and shrieked, "Oh my god! We're Heathers!" So I shrieked and called T. It should be noted that this is the first time I had ever called him ever and he didn't even have my number yet. Anyway, I left him a voicemail that ended up sounding something like this:

T, just in case you were wondering, you, J and I are now Heathers and we're gonna call each other that and that's who we are from now on. So I'll call you Heather and you call me Heather and we'll both call J Heather because we are WHAT?! Sickening. Heather.

I was drunk. Whatever. The point is, we were no longer friends. We had become girlfriends. And for those of you that aren't gay of for you gay guys that maybe aren't close with other gay guys, you might not understand what that means or what that feels like but it's real. We really are girlfriends. I'd do anything for that girl because we're more than just best friends, we're Heathers.