Everyone's got a question

When I go out in the world, I'm told that there is no question about my sexuality. As much as I'd like to think that I'm not THAT flamboyant, apparently, the way that I dress, speak and carry myself just screams, "HOMOSEXUAL!"

I don't have a problem with this.

With that being said, you have to imagine the types of questions I get from people that feel they know me well enough to ask me about some of the darkest points in my life.

"When did you know you were gay?"
"How did your parents react?"
"Was it difficult?"
"Did all of your friends stop talking to you?"
"When did you have your first boyfriend?"
"Did y'all have sex?"
"Are you the pitcher or the catcher?"
"So....who's the woman in the relationship?"
"Since you're both dudes, do you just, like, do it ALL THE TIME?"

I get that it's rare for a Texan to meet a gay man. Especially in such a Republican area like the one that I live in. And I get that there are things that people are curious about. I mean, I'll admit, the first time I came across a lesbian, I had questions too. The first of them being "So....you, like.....LIKE pussy?"

But what I don't get is people that I have only known for mere days wanting to know what it was like to come out to my, very Republican, very Catholic, parents. That was a hard time for me! Harder than anything you've ever experienced. And to be quite honest, there are very few people I should feel comfortable divulging the events of that night with. But because of perfect strangers' constant questioning, I've learned to live my life as an open book. I've never turned down a question, never danced around an answer. I let people ask me whatever they want and I give them as graphic an answer as I can. Some get weirded out and try to stop me but I don't. If they're going to ask about my personal life, they're going to hear every detail no matter how uncomfortable it makes them.



"When did you know you were gay?" - age 4. I wore a blanket that my grandmother crocheted for me as a skirt. I learned how to walk better in heels than your girlfriend and realized my ass will always look twice as good in her jeans.

"How did your parents react?" - Fine. They were uncomfortable at first but we worked through it and now they are among my biggest supporters. It's nice to have parents that love me, but I can understand that you don't know what that feels like.

"Was it difficult?" - YOU try telling your parents that, in their eyes, you were born a mortal sinner and that you're doomed to go to hell. Then tell me how difficult it was. Idiot. OF COURSE it was difficult. I'm a GAY TEXAN!

"Did all of your friends stop talking to you?" - Some. Not all. They were closed minded and unwilling to understand and accept. I didn't need them anyway, I had better friends waiting to accept me for who I am. Unlike all of your friends who would stop talking to you because you didn't wear the right pair of jeans to the mall last weekend.

"When did you have your first boyfriend?" - age 15. His name was Mark and there's a part of me that still loves him. Yes, I love him. Romantic love can exist outside a relationship between a man and a woman.

"Did y'all have sex?" - Yes. He took my virginity with his 6 inch penis that curved to the right. It fit nicely inside my ass.

"Are you the pitcher or the catcher?" - I like both. They both have some pleasure to them. Why? Wanna try it? ;)

"So....who's the woman in the relationship?" - Neither. If I wanted to date a woman, I'd date my best friend. But I don't want to date a woman. I want to date men; so I do. We're both men in the relationship. That's what's making you so uncomfortable right now.

"Since you're both dudes, do you just, like, do it ALL THE TIME?" - Yes. You can be jealous starting......now.



Alright, I answered those questions a little crudely. But I feel that the questions were just as crude as the answers. No one would EVER think to ask a heterosexual stranger about the details of their sex life because it's none of your business. But some feel that because I'm a type of person they've never met before, they have the right to ask me whatever it is they want. How would you feel if I were asking you these types of questions?

Well, I'm stepping off my soap box now. I just needed to get that off my chest. Everyone's got a question for me. It's exhausting not having any secrets.

-K